I can only think of ONE of Scott's dreams since we were married nearly 14 years ago that had significance, and part of me is too terrified to tell it. It's NEVER left me since he shared it probably 8-9 years ago. It's too difficult. Painful. Raw. Private. Possible. *CANNOT* go there. But let's just say it involved Claire's transition viewed from Scott's eyes, and it was shortly after her birth when we'd been given the most devastating prognosis for her life by multiple doctors. I do not GET THAT -- why doctors offer parents in a situation such as ours so little hope for our precious childrens' lives! I hear it time & time again from parents that a doctor said, "He'll never survive the night" & the child lived 5 years or "She won't walk till she's at least 5 or 6" and she's up & runnin' at 18 months. Seriously... WHY NOT give us the lowdown on our kids' brains/bodies/lives/futures as KINDLY & COMPASSIONATELY as possible (remember, you are CHANGING THE VERY COURSE OF OUR ENTIRE FAMILY'S LIVES (or is it LIFE?! Whatever.) WITH YOUR WORDS, DOC!) & THEN say, "But in the end, NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS, so love the HELL outta your kids for as long as you are blessed with 'em. Make each second count." If only...
Anyway... back to the point (and I promise, I DO have one!!!) & off the dad-gum soapbox! YIKES! Sorry about that... So, here's what I found out in "dramatic monologue" form... wait, wouldn't that be dialogue?! Technicalities! LOL Here goes...
Gwen -- "Tell me ALLLLLLLL about it! I'm so excited you FINALLY dreamt!"
Scott -- "Well, it was sort of weird because we were at this exact point in our lives ~ married with our 3 kids. All of a sudden, we awoke one day and were parents of TWINS. Yes, TWINS. And get this, Gwen. Claire & Lola were twins in the dream, too. Our second set of twins were born with Down Syndrome."
Gwen -- "REEEEALLY... <pause> Did we know before their birth that they had Down Syndrome or were we surprised the day of their birth?"
Scott -- "We did no testing ahead of time. Didn't even know you were having twins until the day they were born!"
Gwen -- "So how did we handle it emotionally?"
Scott -- "It was weird because it was just like the newest twins were 2 years old at birth. Kind of skipped the whole newborn stage..."
Gwen -- "So what did we name them?! Do you remember?!?!?" (Do you think it's odd I cared more about the names than the diagnosis?! Friggin' LOVE that. :)
Scott -- "Well, we still hadn't named them when they were 2, but we decided we should probably do that, so we started talking about it real lackadaisically. You were set on using Lynsey as a middle name for one of them, no clue why. So we had to try to find a first name to go with that. Cal suggested Kaitlyn (those of you who know Cal know why!!!! :), and you said, "Sounds good! Kaitlyn Lynsey -- let's just use that!"
Gwen -- "I've always loved the name Kate." (I SO have! So classic, timeless, perfect!)
Scott -- "Anyway! So we just used that for one of them, and she was the hyper one. VERY active, we always had to watch her, she was everywhere, bouncing off the walls!!! She'd run out the front door, and we'd have to chase her into the street. She would climb all over the furniture ~ she was WILD! But she cracked us UP! Never a dull moment with her."
Gwen -- "So we had 5 kids?? 2 sets of twins?!??! What did we name the other one?"
Scott -- "I chose Katherine because I always liked that name. And immediately you yelled, "We could call her KATIE!" And I kept saying, "NO! We already have a Kaitlyn! I've always loved the name Kat."
Gwen -- "Is this for reals that you love the name Kat, or is that part of the dream?! Huh?!"
Scott -- "No, I DO love the nickname Kat... it's a sexy little name, but that's reeeeally creepy, considering I'm talking about our 2 year old daughter. Ewww." (which I think launched into some mention on my part of Kat Von D, and whether he found HER sexy... to which I'm pretty sure, now that I think about it, he didn't answer! Hmmmmm. Must. Pry. Further. LOL)
Gwen -- "We seriously named our kids Kaitlyn & Katherine? Both are short for Katie?! WTH!? What was Katherine like?"
Scott -- "She was soooo sweet, adorable, easy to be around, & gentle. She & Kaitlyn were SO different. She always had these big, gorgeous eyes staring up at us, lookin' SO cute ALL THE DAMN TIME. She was slightly larger than Kaitlyn, and MUCH larger/chubbier than Claire & Lola."
Gwen -- "So how did we handle it??!?!?!"
Scott -- "We just DID. We just loved our lives, as we do now. We made it work. We had SO much fun every day with our 5 kids."
Gwen -- "I could never handle twins, I'm pretty sure. Not sure that I could emotionally handle a 3rd & 4th child with special needs either. How did we not break down?!"
Scott -- "In the dream, we only had one moment where we were really sad and teary. We were sitting on the couch together, Cal was gone, and we had 4 little seats/beanbags all around us, each occupied by one of our 4 children with special needs. I looked at you, with tears in my eyes, and I said, "What are the f***ing odds???? We'd have twins with microcephaly AND twins with Down Syndrome?! Seriously, what are the odds?!??!?!" We cried together, hugged each other, & then LIFE WENT ON."
Gwen -- "Is this some sort of sign from God?!?!?"
Scott -- "Actually, as messed up as it sounds, I totally think I dreamt this because we've been dog-sitting Mags & Stella." (These are Scott's brother's 2 pugs, whose personalities are surprisingly similar to Kaitlyn & Katherine's!!!)
|Scott with Stella & Mags ~ February 2011|
Scott laughed. "I'm not saying the pugs act as if they have special needs or that our kids act like DOGS, but personality-wise, they acted the SAME! Katherine was more laid-back like Mags, and Kaitlyn was more high-strung & active like Stella."
Gwen -- "We need a qualified dream interpreter to figure this mofo out. You've got serious issues, dude. LOL"
Scott -- "At least my dreams usually aren't as jacked up as *your* dreams..." (This one clearly might have been!!! Unbe-freakin'-lievable! By this point, I am now reeeeally questioning my interest of "getting into Scott's head" by hearing his dreams. He's WEIRD, yo. :)
|Stella sit-standing behind Scott on the back of our chair. She is DEFINITELY part cat. :) The girl can CLIMB!!!|
|Stella + Cal = Buddies!|
|Mags' head shot ~ Model material! ~ February 2011|
|Stella-Bella is all smiles! ~ February 2011|
|Mayhem at the Hooligan House! JUST the way we like it!!! (Romeo could NOT quit playing grab-ass with the pugs the whole time... hahahahahaha! Pre was just disinterested mostly... total man-diva. HA!)|
So... what DO you think Scott's loco dream meant? Did it represent something? Should I be setting him up with some serious counseling sessions?! LOL Oh, and DO NOT tell me that it is evident he wants more kids... because we are TOTALLY at our 2-dwarf maximum. :)
Discuss amongst yourselves...