The Hartley Hooligans: January 2016

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Thankful Thursday ~ BBC Radio

Yesterday I was interviewed by Julian Marshall of BBC Radio regarding microcephaly and the Zika virus, a mosquito-borne virus which is believed to be causing microcephaly in newborns whose mothers were infected by this virus while pregnant. I was honored & thankful to discuss our experience with microcephaly, and I hope that maybe, in some small way, my testimony can help new mothers whose babies were diagnosed with microcephaly to feel less alone & afraid. I certainly don't have all of the answers regarding this diagnosis, but I want to help set their minds at ease however I can.

It is sad to me that microcephaly is being vilified in the media due to Zika, and I hope that the general public realizes that though this diagnosis would not be something I would have chosen, I am NO LESS BLESSED by having two daughters with this condition than if they'd been born typical. I am just as proud of my girls as I am of our neurotypical son, Cal.

CLICK HERE to listen to my radio interview from yesterday! As of now, I am being told it may only be active for another five days, though I hope to be able to download an mp3 of it at some point so I can share that here as well.

1.20.16 ~ Claire, Cal, & Lola celebrating the #DayOfAcceptance for #3ELove

Friday, January 15, 2016

CODE YELLOW!

(NOTE: Real Feta is considerably less red in the head/claw region than the chicken pictured above.
An impostor chicken was used for the "LOST!" poster, as real Bok was MIA.)

On the morning of January 8, I snapped the below photo of Cash & Lola. As I zoomed in closer to look at the picture, I gasped and chills spread throughout my body when I realized that our loyal compadre, Bok, was not in his trusty protector's hand. (For all you newbies, Bok -- also known as Feta -- is literally the ONLY thing in the whole wide world that Lola has ever voluntarily held onto, her rubbery roommate, her feathery-yet-non-feathery, feta-cheese-stankin' friend, her poultry partner-in-crime, her yellow yardbird, her chickeny chum. I could go on all. day. long!) Yes, it is common for Feta & Lola to "break up" or be "on a break" several times a day. She frequently drops him like a bad habit, and they live the single life for the rest of the day. Other times, he falls from her tight grasp and gets kicked under the couch. Not today, friends. Not today.

#CashandLola ~ BFF's times infinity

Nope, today was a different story entirely. I checked all the usual locations for that little pecker, and he was nowhere to be found. He wasn't under either couch, either ottoman, the chair, Claire's beanbag, or on top of the ottoman. He wasn't on the kitchen counter drying with the g-tube extensions after a good cleaning/bath. He wasn't on the tray with all the remote controls and pens and essential oils (yep, I'm one of THOSE people!). I even pulled up all the couch cushions to check for his lifeless, little body, to no avail. What the cluck?!?! Where WAS he?!?!

At this point, I was beginning to assume Cash had come into play with our beloved Bok. I began to fear the worst. Was he residing within a certain someone's colon and/or in a dung pile in our back yard? If so, could he be saved? And if he were miraculously found & saved, could he still be Lola's sidekick if I boiled him, or would that be wrong?! I almost went outside to look, but then I opted against it. (Hey, why do all my posts somehow end up circling back around to discussing shit?! It's like the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon except in turd form. WTH!?!?) Instead, I decided to bust out a backup Bok. I know, I know. TOO SOON. I get it. I didn't want to believe he was gone either. But Lola seemed distressed, so I caved. I dug out my bag of alternate Fetas, removed the keychain ring (don't judge, it was the only 3" rubber chickens I could find on Amazon), and stuck that trickster in her hand.

Upon having Fake Feta placed in her hand as a substitute for her Bok OG, Lola immediately became wide-eyed and distressed. She stared wildly into the distance while hearkening back to the wise words of Lyndon B. Johnson, the 36th President of The United States of America ~ “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”
That's my girl.

Shortly thereafter, as I sat on the couch racking my ~~bird~~brain trying to figure out where on earth Feta could be, I hatched an idea. I wasn't about to put all my eggs in one basket, but I had a pretty good idea of where he might be. I dashed into the laundry room, flung open the washer (which was full of clean, wet clothes, as usual), and I began removing piece-by-piece, shaking each one, hopeful that Bok might magnificently reappear. When I was almost to the bottom, I grabbed a blanket, gave it a good shake, and much to my surprise, Feta took flight (it was only a short flight though, as chickens are not capable of long distance flights)! He sailed majestically through the air, descended rapidly, and lodged himself precariously in the deep crevasse between the washing machine and our laundry cart. I could barely believe my eyes! FETA WAS FOUND!

Save yourself, Feta! Don't fall deeper into the dark abyss!

At precisely that moment, Scott got home from work. The garage door opened, he walked in, and I yelled, "Bok's been lost! I couldn't find him anywhere & I looked EVERYWHERE! I finally figured out that he might have gotten wrapped up or hidden in a blanket & accidentally thrown in the washer with the dirty clothes & so I went to look & I shook out a blanket & he went airborne & somehow ended up almost plummeting to his death between the washer! Look where he landed! HE WENT THROUGH A WHOLE 57 MINUTE WASH LOAD! I am so glad he is found because fake Bok sucks!!!!!" To which Scott calmly replied, "We must save him." He quickly rushed out to the garage and returned with this...