Six

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all."  ~Walt Disney Company, Mulan

Today you are SIX, my sweet Lola.  6!  How is that possible?

I was completely overjoyed last year when you turned five.  I remember feeling ELATED, like I'd nearly explode with happiness because you beat the odds and you were healthy and thriving and life was STILL perfect, just as I'd hoped it would be when I dreamt of having you sooooo many years prior.

But this year I feel different.  It is almost hard to put into words. (And y'all KNOW that is rare for me because I am WINDY!  I still remember Mrs. J, my high school English teacher, writing one word across the top of damn near every one of my school papers... "WORDY."  Suffice it to say, I am *still* working on this apparent writing flaw.  I APOLOGIZE!  HA!)

I think I feel SADDER this year, and I'm not sure exactly why that is. You are still healthy (despite a rough month or so), you are still feisty (like your Mama!), your personality is showing more and more each day, you are growing (SHOCKING, I KNOW!  You finally hit 2'1.5" tall!!!!!), and you are eating like a horse (which for some odd reason brings me more comfort than you could ever know).  You continue to make us smile many times a day, even though you have become nocturnal the past few months.  You are so beautiful and inspiring and amazing and your very life itself can bring me to tears in a matter of seconds because of this... and I think that's just it right there.  I have SO much emotion and time and energy and research and love -- SO MUCH F*CKING LOVE!!! -- wrapped up and invested in your little big, important life.  It means so much more to me now than ever before.  We are even more interconnected than a year ago.  We have been through more, we know each other better, and the bottom line is that you are one of the most precious gifts I've *EVER* been given in this life, along with your Daddy, Cal & Claire.  God, I love you.  So much that it hurts sometimes.  So much that I can cry out of the blue -- sometimes just telling a total stranger about you -- because it reminds me how far we've come and how much I never, ever in a million years want to lose you.  I cannot go there... and I won't.  Because you so clearly want and need to be HERE.  And I'll be damned if I am gonna waste one second worrying about that when I could be loving and enjoying you instead.

These eyes see to my soul...

Overtaking the display couches at Sam's Club
You sat there for a good 10 minutes as Daddy checked out.  I had to laugh as the entire store did double and triple takes to glimpse how freakin' ADORABLE you were in that very moment.

Rockin' the braids... I love your tiny, little head SO MUCH.

Still besties... Romeo absolutely LOVES to lay near/with/on you, Lola!  You are part of his pack (though pretty sure you're only alpha when you blow chunks).

I could've written this book for you, my darlin'... and I thank the heavens that you are non-verbal, because I intend to read it to you every f*cking night!!!  (PS -- Don't fight sleep; sleep will win!!!)  (PS #2 -- We sleep AT NIGHT!!!!!)

"What I do you cannot do; but what you do, I cannot do.  The needs are great, and none of us, including me, ever do great things.  But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful."
~ Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Happy 6th Birthday, my love.  Never forget how meaningful your life is to us and all who know you.

xo