Saturday, December 24, 2011

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

OK, I'm just gonna put this out there.  I can't... wait... I don't WANNA hide it.  Plain & simple... it is FACT (in my world) that Andy Williams is a MF PIMP.  I love that guy.  I could listen to that cat's Christmas music in JULY.  Something about his smooth yet silky voice, that hair, that swagger... oh yeahhhhhhh.  He's got it goin' on.  Today I belted out his music a little too exuberantly -- even my family was laughing at me.  I grew up listening to Andy on vinyl, and I vow to ALWAYS listen to him every Christmas.  Christmas is not Christmas without Andy!  He's my boy.

Other than my darling Andy and a few other random holiday tunes, Christmas music has gotten on my friggin' nerves this year.  B98 FM has been bustin' everyone's balls since December 1st with non-stop, 24/7 Christmas music, and honestly, while I consider myself fairly geared-up and solidly in the holiday spirit, I've STILL not been down with the festive music for some reason.  So you can imagine my surprise the other day when that hideous T-Mobile 4G wonderland commercial came on touting that they were  "...walking in an orgy wonderland" that I took notice!  I did a serious triple-take after about the third "orgy," grabbed the DVR remote, double checked which station I was on (kidding, you perverts!), hit rewind, and finally realized it was 4G not "orgy."  HAHAHAHAHAHA!  Ummm, are you frickin' kidding me?!??!?!  ENUNCIATE, PEOPLE!!!  Holy sexual holiday reference, T-Mobile.  For shame.

I present to you our elves, raised by humans... HA!  (I love Elf!)
Humiliation at its finest!!!  We were at swimming/hydrotherapy and the little girl who swims before Claire & Lola had a doll with this straw hat on, and OF COURSE, I forced Polly Ann Pocket to don it as if it were her own.  Pretty sure that fist is primed & ready to knock my ass out!  But I will say, sadly, it fit like a damn charm.  HA!

Claire-bug  ~  My girl's got no shame in flashin' WSD (West Side Dwarves) gang signs.  SO ghetto. 

This past few months have been ridic!  There are really NO OTHER WORDS to describe it.  Possibly "overwhelming," "jam-packed," "full," "balls-to-the-wall," and "so-busy-that-at-night-I-fall-into-bed-and-pass-out-within-20-seconds-of-my-head-hitting-the-MF-pillow," but seriously, "RIDIC" fits best.  Mostly, it's just been busy, something going on EVERY DAY, both morning and afternoon.  I've sucked at blogging the past few weeks as a result, and I'm trying to play catch-up now, so here's a big warning in advance, this post is gonna be LONG.  With LOTS of pictures.  My bad.

Here is a partial sampling of what's been goin' down in the Hooligan household the past few months...

We have travelled to several art shows around the country and while down in New Mexico (where we also met our angel-on-earth, Shirley), we also had the pleasure of meeting up with some friends we have known for a few years, courtesy of Claire, Lola & Tim (shown below) bringing us together...
Tim & Claire

Tim & Lola

Tim is the son of Ells & Ildy, and we are so grateful to have met them, because honestly, it is just SO.  F'ING.  NICE. to have friends to whom I can say ANYTHING, express my innermost thoughts and feelings about "this journey," and who are a little farther down the road than us and can provide us with guidance, wisdom & *so much love,* I cannot even tell you.  I am so grateful I am a member of this "club" of families who are blessed with children who have special needs.  Tim is my hero... I only hope to be as life-changing and inspirational as he is someday.  His parents are my Mommy & Daddy idols.  Love you all SO MUCH.
November 2011 ~ Shuttin' the restaurant DOWN!!!!!  xo
Also while in New Mexico, we had the pleasure of spending time with my family... we love you guys & SO cherish our time together!!!!!  I mostly love that we can hang out for like four hours and it feels like one.  You guys rock, & you will never know how much you mean to us!!!  xoxo
Uncle Joey, Aunt Lore, & my cousin, Savanah
Us girls... (and WTF is this weird bang phenomenon I'm experiencing?!?!  I am confused and bewildered... LOL)
I LOVE this time of year because I get to spend more time with my family in town, too...
4 Cousins
Maranda & Lola  ~  Best Buds!
Maranda & Cal
Mags & Stella, my pug nieces, return!
My girl, Mags, has mad love for her Auntie Gwen!
More "horses!"
Mrs. Pocket loves Cindy (her PT) & Lollipop!
We've had Holiday Open Houses at Infinity Art Glass... THREE of them, to be exact!

Friends with new babies!!!
CONGRATS, Keeley & Jake!  Baby Hayden is BEAUTIFUL, and Lola has declared Hayden her new BFF!  (even though Pocket's jealous Hayden already overtook her in size at 6 weeks of age.  HAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Lately, we've had the most intense, amazingly gorgeous sunsets on unseasonably warm days mixed in with snowfall maybe four separate times (though no accumulation)... leave it to Kansas for the extremes!  Wait 10 minutes if you don't like the weather here... 'cause you can bet your sweet ass it'll change.

OK, so I tried to get a picture of Cameron, Cal & Kaitlyn (what a bunch of dodes!) with the snow in the background, but my iPhone wasn't showing the snow?!  It did, however, pick up on a UFO-like object in the background, so at least we've got that going for us.  And yes, they are in shorts/short sleeves and it's like 30 degrees out.  Mom Of The Year.  RIGHT HERE!  HA!

Our boy turned 13!  How the f*** is that possible?!?!?  I've not aged, right?!?!??  HA!  OMG!!!!!  SO PROUD OF YOU, CAL. 
Why yes, yes that IS DGCC (Damn Good Chocoloate Cake)!  Only *THE BEST* chocolate cake on the planet.  No lie.  You NEED to try it.  Like today.  Trust me.  LIFE-CHANGING!!!

You're welcome for this shot, too, Cal!  HA!  Hope you made a wish that your dorky Mom wouldn't snap this same super-flattering shot next year... oh wait, I SO WILL.  COMPLETELY out of love though!  HA!
WOOHOOOO!  NIT CHAMPIONS!  We love our Shockers!  And I love my old doggie, Pre (bottom right).  Glowing, satanic eyes, massive amounts of dripping/slimy/sticky/stretchy doggie snot rockets & all. 
Blake Griffin is an angry dragon.  And he's VERY convincing.  (PLEASE TELL ME you all have seen Starsky & Hutch... and that you can reenact that badass dance-off midway through.  HA!)
7 Cousins!  I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!
And BASKETBALL!  We've been watching A SHITLOAD LOT of basketball lately!  I LOVE this time of year!!!!!!!
My girl, Claire-bug, rootin' for Duke!  DON'T HATE!  LOL  Pre & Romeo gettin' in on a piece of that action.
Guess who TOTALLY snuck in an entire footlong Subway sandwich in her coat, was eating it at the start of the game (coming from one of Cal's games -- running late!), timeout was called, shirts were tossed into the crowd, I didn't even pay attention, literally was stuffin' in a 6-inch (get your minds out of the gutters, people!  DAMN!), when this bad boy landed DIRECTLY in my lap.  I shit you not.  I did NOTHING.  I didn't wave my hands.  I didn't jump up and down.  I didn't signal that girl cheerleader who BARELY can throw a t-shirt up 12 rows.  I looked down, eating my sub, and this puppy slammed headlong directly into my crotchal region from above!  AWESOME!  I fully intend to implement the "not-giving-a-shit" technique during upcoming games.  It's quite effective.
My fellow sub-sandwich-sneakers, Kaitlyn & Cal
And even MORE basketball!!!!  We're in HEAVEN!!!!!!!!
Cal ~ #11  ~  fist bumpin' the refs during starting line-ups
Proud of the Circle Thunderbolts!  5-1 so far on the year!
My boy, shootin' a free throw.  He had 23 points this game!  SO.  PROUD!
Christmas programs... in which my boy, Cal, chose to read what he was thankful for and said something along the lines of, "I am thankful for my little sisters, Claire & Lola, who weren't supposed to live to be 1, but who are now 10 and 5 years old.  I love them very much."  *TEARS*  Again, SO.  PROUD.
December 13, 2011
"We don't know how to put this, but we're *KIND OF* a big deal..."
I *WANTED* to leave you with a suuuuuuuuuper hilarious, yet **HIGHLY** inappropriate Christmas video from YouTube, but my hubby convinced me it was a reeeeeeeally bad idea since kids under 18 (yeah, it's THAT BAD) read this blog.  SCROOGE!  HA! 

However, I may agree with Scott, after careful review.  Even bleeped out, it's still incredibly raunchy.  That being said... all you pervs out there who still want to see it, hit me up on e-mail ( & I'll forward you the link to that bad boy.  I promise it will make you smile (if you can get past the innuendos!!!!!)

"Howdy Ho!!!" & a VERY Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays from Mr. Hankey & ALL the Hooligans!!! 

Monday, December 19, 2011

Holding onto hope

LOTS & LOTS of emails, texts & prayers have been going up in our household for Claire & Lola's "little brother," Aidan, 1/4 of "The Quads."  For the past several months, he and his little brother, Ty, have both battled the most horrific illness/condition... both have fought with everything in them for their very lives. Ty was able to recover, and he is doing well now, thankfully.  Aidan, however, is still struggling daily to recover from this gruesome disease.  His little body has been through SO MUCH, yet he continues to endure day in and day out, despite the immense pain he often experiences.  He is truly one of the strongest people I know.
August 20, 2011  ~  Ty, Lola, Aidan & Claire  ~  Quads reunited!
I am asking for prayers for Aidan that he can overcome this very soon and no longer be in pain.  And mad love & prayers, too, for Aidan's parents, Stephanie (my bestie) & Jason, to hold onto hope and continue providing such amazing, loving care for their boys.  You guys are my heroes, and I love you very much.  To read more about their family, visit What... A Whirlwind and/or Aidan's CaringBridge page.  We love you with all our hearts, Aidan, and we're ALWAYS here for all of you however we can be.
November 2011

We are pulling for you, sweet Aidan!!!!!  You are SO incredibly loved by so many...
December 17, 2011  ~  Aidan, Cole & Ty with Santa

"Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all..." ~Emily Dickinson

Saturday, December 03, 2011


Our baby turned thirteen on Thursday. SO PROUD OF YOU, CAL. You are my heart.


(Go to Playlist at bottom of blog & hit PAUSE before watching this video... :)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011


One year when I was a kid, our family was given a festive turkey gift.  I cannot remember if it was a fruitcake or those fire-starter block thingies or those little tiny hay bales in the shape of a turkey body, but attached to this fake turkey body on the front was a red, felt turkey head with those little googly eyes that moved when you shook it.  It was quite the kitschy gift, and whenever the hind-end of the turkey was used up, I remember my Mom felt really bad about just tossing the turkey head in the trash.  It was kind of endearing...we'd all grown to enjoy his cute little expression!  So, she saved it.  Yep, just the HEAD.  HA!  And every year after that, we'd hide the turkey head in random locations around the house for the rest of the family to find because after all, you couldn't just lay this weak, limp, flat turkey head out on the counter as a "decoration!"   

Hide-The-Turkey-Head was a hilarious game mostly because many of the places we'd hide Mr. Turkey were places a normal turkey could NEVER fit.  The space was too small, or it was impossible for him to maneuver his way into that locale, but that was half the fun!  This F'ed up AWESOME tradition continued over the years, and when I moved out & got married, my Mom said, "Gwen, you need your OWN turkey head to hide.  It's tradition!"  So, she bought some red felt & crafted up one of her own original designs.

Now, Mr. Turkey Head #2 was less beautiful in many ways... apparently no googly eyes were available the day of construction, so huge, black, knobby buttons were used instead.  In addition, he had a very long neck.  This combo made our gobbler seem more awkward and simple, not to mention quite a bit DORKIER than the previous one.  But you didn't hear any complaints from Scott & I, because now we had our OWN turkey to hide, and "dorky" suited us well.  Meet Turkey #1 and Turkey #2!
Turkey #1 -- on left, Impostor Turkey #2 -- on right

A few years later, Mom decided to pare down her holiday decor, and guess who was offered the OT (Original Turkey)???  Yep, you got it!  We doubled our pleasure indeed that day.  And we've had a riot every November since, as we have our own little friendly competition version of "Where's Waldo" goin' down in The Hooligan Household.  It's great fun to see who can come up with the funniest hiding place!  I present to you a sampling of Turkey Time 2011, in no particular order.  ENJOY!
Sneaky little bastard bird

Cal paid the price early the next morning trying to put this shoe on... I had that thing
jammed clear down into the toe of his shoe!  Good times!  :)

 Due to the fact that Mr. Turkey is lacking arms, legs, and basically an entire torso, some might say he is slightly disabled... or "disabird," in fowl terms.  Here he is during his rationed time in the Special Tomato chair!

Confused and bewildered by the predator in *his* dog bed, Romeo prepares for annihilation.

You probably didn't know that in blind studies, red felt turkeys beat out Brawny 10 to 1 in absorption.  It's a proven fact.

In Cal's pillow, ready to attack.  HA!  You should've heard Cal's rant after he discovered this pesky pecker attempting to interrupt his serene night's sleep! 


Vincent Van Goghbbler

Rare, imported Dolce & Gabblana purse

What a crock!!!!!  HELP!!!!!!

I am half-ashamed and half-proud of this hiding spot, as our phallic friend could've had a better placement than mid-crotchal region in this uncomfortable shot!  Oops!  My original idea was very "Who's that Spartan in my teepee?" "It's me! It's me!" (skip to 2:48 mark for this classic line!) a la Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri in Saturday Night Live.  Epic.  Fail.  HA!

The designer "Red Head" line of "Red Wing" boots, modeled by our dear friend...

...making a break for it, ironically from our Charbroil RED grill.  HA!

"Spirit Vase" by Vernon Brejcha, one of Scott's glassblowing buddies.
I'm sure he'd be pleased to see this ol' baldy classin' up his work!

Completely oblivious to the trickery going on??? OR... paralyzed by fear of the unknown offender in her sock?!
We may NEVER know... but hope that tryptophan kicks in soon.  HA!

Romeo calls "BS!" as he patiently waits his turn to go out the doggie door.  HA!

Turd-key returns!  This is a real shitty deal here... may need to Lysol this bad boy down after this stint.

Is that Michael Felts peering out of your swimming pool?  Why YES.  Yes, it is. 

This is a re-creation of a scene circa 1994 at my parents' house late one evening as they were getting ready for bed.  My Mom had left her bedroom briefly, Scott & I snuck in, tucked in our good friend, put Mom's glasses on him, and propped up a book somehow for him to read.  Her cackles were heard several rooms away when she returned to a very similar sight that night!!!

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush!  HA!!!

Turkey trots!

Say hello to Mr. Knish!  (I loooooove Ace Ventura!)

Tom plans to knock the gizzard outta Bill Gates, as many hours as he has logged online. 

Poult dancing!


Chandelier made by my hubby, Scott (again, sorry for the shameless Infinity Art Glass plug!  LOL)

Master of the corkspin serve, our scarlet friend prepares for battle.

Freezer birdned

Ludwig Van Beethurkey

Richard Pecky slightly edges out Dale Birdhardt, Jr. at the checkered flag for the win!

Two "Butt"erballs = THE END! (for now!!!)

May ALL your holiday traditions be just as awesome!

Happy Thanksgiving from The Hooligans...

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...