Friday, July 25, 2014

Thirteen

13. 

How is it at all possible that my sweet Claire turns 13 today?!?! 

Our first year with Claire feels like yesterday.  It was cram-packed full of fear, little hope & worry.  I have not forgotten the exact words that were spoken to us when Claire was 3 months old... "She likely will not live to be 1 year old."  I remember feeling as if everything in my life were crumbling -- that my whole world, my reason for being, my future -- were all shattered.  I had so wanted a daughter.  I picked out the name "Claire" when *I* was 13.  I had this image of what my little girl would be like, what we'd do together, how I'd fix her hair & paint her toenails like mine & dress like twinkies & we'd be SO CLOSE & she would be spunky & funny & cute & perfect.  

And we were given just that.  In a very different package than we were expecting, yet no less special.

I am SO. GRATEFUL.


"You can either be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure.  It all depends on how you view your life."
~Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes


July 2014  ~  Sportin' her new 'do!

July 2014  ~  PT in the pool with Angela!

I look back now & realize all that I would never wish to be... as a mother, a wife, a friend, a person.  I love who Claire has made me become.  I love how she has united our family and shown us what really matters.  I love that she touches people -- total strangers -- without ever having spoken a word.  I love that her eyes speak volumes and her expressions convey more than any words ever could.  I am in awe of her strength -- oh, her amazing strength! -- it makes me want to be more & support others more & LOVE MORE.  I love her determination and her spirit.  Guys, my girl is working on standing & supporting herself in a crawling position!!!!!  I wasn't sure this was even possible.  I love that my girl took that "1 year maximum prognosis" and basically told those doctors to fuck off.  Don't think for one second that my annual "Claire is STILL defying your stupid-ass odds" letter won't be sent to that dick doctor today.  I love how my girl loves.  I love that her whole life is based on love & giving as much of it as she possibly can EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. because honestly, that is all any of us should ever strive to do.


"Love is pulling together against all odds."
~Smiley Blanton


Fall 2001  ~  Those eyes... they have always seen straight to my soul.  Then & now.  
Spring 2002  ~  This picture always makes me tear up, remembering how Claire's legs used to not scissor.
I loved her then & I love her even more now because despite her challenges, she still finds joy in all she does.
November 2002  ~  Claire being a "triplet" with her newborn twin cousins, Elisabeth & Christina
October 2003  ~  One of Claire's first smiles captured on film, at 2 years, 3 months of age.
I cannot even put into words how precious this moment was to all of us.  To FINALLY see emotion.  To FINALLY know our baby is happy & FINALLY be able to show us.  To have waited 2 extra years to see such a miracle, not knowing if that day would ever come.  To say this was one of the best days of my life would be an understatement.
November 2004  ~  Photo by Gavin Peters
January 2005  ~  Cal & Claire with Gran
November 2006  ~  I love these hooligans!
August 2008  ~  "Geek Chic" taken to a WHOLE 'nother level before it was even cool!
November 2010

Happy 13th Birthday, my Mimi.  You are my heart.  For always.

July 2014

xo

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for therapists who become family.

To those who are willing to put in the extra time, who let themselves get invested in my girls' lives, who listen to me vent, who share their own lives & experiences, who bring their well-behaved children to my house & show me that some kids don't even have to be taught how to find joy in spending time with someone who is different, who truly LOVE THEIR JOB and MY GIRLS and ME... THANK YOU!  You will never know how much this means to all of us.

Max (age 3), Angela & Claire (age 12)

My girl rockin' her crawling position today!

My heart just exploded into a million pieces seeing them together.


Besties!
Claire seriously LOVES Max.  And he just "gets her."



O.  M.  G.
Love this soooo much.





My dear, you are SO loved.

"What is family? They were the people who claimed you. In good, in bad, in parts or in whole, they were the ones who showed up, who stayed in there, regardless. It wasn't just about blood relations or shared chromosomes, but something wider, bigger." ~Sarah Dessen (Lock and Key)

xo

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

Bubbles!

Enjoy the girls in action in their therapy tub yesterday!  I SO love the expressiveness they show, the interest they take in one another, & how purposefully they respond to what we say to them!  They amaze me every. single. day.


"I am so fresh in soul and spirit that life gushes and bubbles around me in a thousand springs." ~Robert Schumann

xo

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