Monday, January 09, 2017

I'm at it again...

You're welcome in advance for not sharing every single one of my completely-fucked-up-to-the-point-you-would-be-concerned-for-my-actual-health-and-well-being dreams with you on a daily basis.  I'm not joking when I say that Scott has expressed genuine concern about me at least once in the last week and too many times over the course of our marriage to even count, after hearing what my dreams entail upon waking.  Usually they're just WEIRD, sometimes quite telling about where I am emotionally, but usually they are just worthy of eye rolls upon eye rolls.  For your sake, I won't go into details about my blindfolded, not-so-soft-core, sexy dream from last week which felt very much like a cross between Dexter and 50 Shades, but I will share with you the dream I had last night which definitely got me thinking...

During this dream, I was walking behind many of my family members.  It was almost like an out of body experience.  It was as if I was in another realm, watching life unfold while observing from behind.  It felt like I was seeing our lives from the outside in vs. the inside out.  It was dark outside, and light snow was falling.  Everyone was dressed warmly.  I looked at & studied each person as they interacted with one another, smiling, laughing, enjoying the winter night out.  Everyone was happy and acting silly.  It was then that I noticed Lola... she wasn't being carried, she was walking while holding the hand of a family member. She was the exact size she is now, but she was walking. She wasn't walking "normally;" she was sort of stiff-legged, almost prancing lightly over the ground. Her hair was braided in a Heidi braid over the top of her head.  I instantly knew it was her.  I could recognize that darling little head and those cute little ears from a mile away. Claire was not in the dream. My whole focus was solely on Lola, and I could not take my eyes off of her and the fact that she was mobile. It was both touching and fascinating, all at the same time. To see her upright and moving, to see our family member bending down SO LOW to grab her tiny little hand for support, to see her feel so free... it was incredible.



But I didn't feel sad or teary in the dream as I usually would have.  Instead, I was joyful and ecstatic. It was then in my dream that I saw her fall forward... and the family member kept a tight grasp on her hand, and she was able to regain her footing.  It felt so amazing to see her this way, so unencumbered by her own body. So different than she is in her usual daily life.

I need a live-in dream interpreter STAT!  Singlehandedly, I would keep him/her in business!  I wish I could make sense of this dream -- or maybe the real lesson here is that I don't need to make sense of it at all.

A year or so ago, I dreamt the same thing about Lola.  It was such a different feel, almost as if it is ME who is growing, changing, and evolving now. That makes me so happy.  And just as I typed this, I saw 11:11 on my computer clock. No mistakes... I am right where I need to be.
xo

11 comments:

emma said...

Maybe,hopefully with technology advancing so much , this could be a dream if Lola future? That's what I'm seeing.

Joyfullygrateful said...

I love your dream(s).

Tar and Feather the Bastards said...

Oh Lola, Lola, so little and so fierce.....people are always asking me to interpret their dreams, don't ask me why.....but here is what I think your dream means, firstly, it is no surprise that your family are in the dream, you are the biggest family person ever, and Lola, I have seen her videos and her pictures and I just know the dream is letting you know how much is going on inside her tiny little person, and how your belief in her and Claire is spot on.....I see in Lola and Claire advances, to some they may seem small but to you and I they are huge.....the snow is about innocence and how protected your girls are and how supported you are,
within your family circle and I also believe that dreams like this are rewards for loving and believing in these two tiny precious girls...from Suex in New Zealand and ps I love your blog....





















Unknown said...

Lola was always meant to be Lola...we all stumble( like Lola did in the dream) but there are people who are there to catch us ....in
this dream I believe Lola was you, and the way you see your beautiful girl , is the way God sees you ...we are perfect in our imperfections ��

MKat said...

Keep on dreaming and embrace the freedom!

Unknown said...

I have talked to you a few times here and on face book without realizing why. I do,study,learn about transcendental meditation and the out of body experiences I have, with them, had many amazing experiences and I am happy to report-that was no dream. When the body is locked up ie, coma illness or if you do this on purpose you third eye gets real used to opening and traveling.So many worlds to see. I feel that Lola was giving you a glimpse of her other world. In that world you can walk talk,there has been blind pple that have been studied claim they see.The soul is infinite and loves to travel and there we are all the perfect self even down to simple light. Lola is traveling and she gifted you a glimpse, that's my true belief. I have a youtube channel if your interested, no plug,I travel lots do and I meet them along the way.Listen to a few of my experiences and know this world have limits but not all do so I beleive she not only walks see flys !
Love your girls and fam
PJ

Unknown said...

What a wonderful dream in so many ways.

Anonymous said...

Hi Gwen! Have you ever considered trying to potty train the girls? My friend recently finished potty training her 9yr old son who has severe cerebral palsy and anoxic brain damage. When she told me this I thought of your girls, maybe it's worth a shot?
Much love <3

Unknown said...

It's been a long time since you posted. I hope that all is well.

Amber said...

Wow... This really touched my heart and as I read about your dream it reminded me of this book I’m reading called imagine heaven. If you haven’t read this, you should def pick a copy up! This is like you were getting a glimps into her in heaven. What a gift. As I am so very sorry for your loss but this truly is something. It’s like you were seeing her future almost exactly a year later. Please know that she is in a beautiful place full of love and beauty. Thank you for sharing your story.... -Amber Collier

Anne said...

I think that that dream was about resurrection.

Lola has risen, she is whole.

She is your little girl, and always will be your little girl. That is why she appeared little to you.

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