Monday, October 24, 2011

So much more...

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”  ~ Dr. Seuss

Claire... Oh, how I love you!!! 

When you are in my arms, you make me feel like ME.  You calm me.  You melt into me in such a way that I forget where you end & I begin.  You feel like an extension of myself  ~  my heart, my soul, my reason for being here  ~  all wrapped into one.  I remember saying when you were born that I'd NEVER be the same EVER AGAIN, and at that time, the mere thought of that TERRIFIED ME because I worried I'd lose you early on & I'd spend the rest of my life grieving.  Or that I'd be thrust into this "special needs world" that I wasn't so sure I wanted to be a part of at that time. 

My, how my views have changed over the years... how much I've grown... how far I've come... how much deeper I am capable of loving than I ever knew to be possible.  Every day I am amazed by the strength you possess.  The wisdom in your eyes.  The "knowing" that I feel in you when I hold you.  You are *so much more* than most of the world gives you credit for.  Long gone are the days I ache for you to walk or talk, and that desire is almost comical to me now because I remember back to that first year & how I SOOOO craved that.  I SOOOOO longed for development to occur which somehow in my mind equalled HAPPINESS -- for you and me. 

Nope, no more do I wish for that, Claire.  (Unless you decide you want/need to do that.)  Now, I live in the moment as much as I possibly can.  I cherish the little things, celebrate what most may consider minor or even insignificant accomplishments, and revel in the most important fact of all  ~  YOU ARE HERE. 

Check this out...
Yes, you are officially on your tummy, pushing yourself up & ENJOYING IT!!!
NO CLUE what the little red spot is on her right calf... think she had boots on & the other leg rubbed it?! 
Cal & I were SOOOOO proud!!!  He held her arm so she didn't base jump/face-plant off my bed.  LOL


My girl is SO HAPPY!!!!!!!
(But damn that Spastic Quad Cerebral Palsy making her legs cross!  But look how my girl uses her tone & makes this whole thing work?!  She's f'ing AMAAAAAAAZING.)

Showin' off!  Look at her push up!  OMFG!!!!!

Claire is seeing right now... notice the focus.  Suck on that, Dr. T., our former neurologist who said she didn't see a thing!!!

MORE GRINS!  Love this girl o' mine.  SO MUCH.  xo

We are also so grateful for her new Special Tomato Chair (Thanks, Rachel & Sophia!), which is allowing her the chance to sit upright supported, be zoomed around the house on our hardwood floors, and most of all, DANCE!  We spin her around & around, and it makes her smile!!!
I heart your knobby knees.

First time in a long time that we have seen her legs APART & not scissored.  LOVE THIS CHAIR SO MUCH!

Just so incredibly PROUD of my Claire-bug, my Mimi, my Buggy-Boo!  Proud that she is making strides in development at her own rate, proud of her little grins/personality showing through, and proud that she can make faces as AWESOME as these:

Can you tell she was pissed at me for waking her up to feed/change her?!   DIVA!!!!!!!   I wish she'd not be afraid to tell me how she REALLY feels!   HA!
If only we'd crossed Mr. Fake-Tiny-Skeleton's legs... they'd be twinkies!  And holy balls, Claire's head looks ENORMOUS compared to this guy's melon!!!!!!  HA!  (First time ever!  LOL)
Happy Monday from our Mimi...  xoxo

Muscles/extreme ripping courtesy of CP365X (a Hartley made-up sister program to P90X!  HA!)
CP = Cerebral Palsy, 365 days a year, and her beautiful, scissored legs form a perfect X!!!!!!  BRING IT!  LOL 

Buff beauty!

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."

~ Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You'll Go!


HMM said...

this is my first visit to your blog and I've been reading for almost 2 hours. Wow. Your girls are beautiful.. amazingly strong and beautiful. And YOU... I have no words for your strength and the JOY that comes thru so clearly when you write about your family.

Awesome. Seriously Awesome. And please don't subject that poor child to BB again... lol ;)

Gwen said...

@HMM -- THANK YOU for your kind words & for the pick-me-up today that I so desperately needed! LOVE from us Hooligans! xoxo

PS - BB & his tiny, uncircumcised junk continue to haunt this household. I put him on the couch in the basement so every time I go down there, I panic for 3 seconds & think it's Lola then realize it's just BB & his wanker staring back at me, then I laugh & thank myself out loud for putting him there. LOL

Yes, we have issues. :) xoxo

abby said...

Wow. What a beautiful angel she is....and SO incredibly lucky to have a mom like you with such a great, caring sense of humour. You are both blessed! ♡

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