Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Halloween 2012 Recap

Thanks to The Great Herpes Clusterf*ck of weeks past, this year's Halloween put us in a poxy predicament.  Here's why...

By October 31st, Lola's chickenpox had scabbed over, thus meaning she was no longer contagious. (I just used "thus" -- probably incorrectly -- in a sentence!  BOOM!) It had been 17 days since she'd first gotten them, and since incubation for the pox is 10-20 days on average, I was crossing my fingers HARD that Cal & Claire would not also contract them -- at least not until AFTER Halloween. Cal had plans with his girlfriend/friends, and Claire & Lola had AWESOME costumes to show off 'round our 'hood. SURELY they were immune. SURELY. Cal had been exposed countless times during elementary school and never gotten chickenpox.  And he brought those same germs home to Claire, and she hadn't gotten them either.  With the hell I'd been through with Lola, part of me was praying (selfishly) that I wouldn't have to endure that shit a second & third time, but if it meant lifetime immunity for both of them (which they'd receive at the next Tribal Counsel... Ha Ha!), I would gladly buck up & do it. I had wine in-house. I'd be fine. Probably.

The day before Halloween, Claire had a suspicious bump on the back of her neck.  I pushed and prodded that bad boy, examined it up close, shone a flashlight on it, and at first, it DID look like chickenpox. Then it appeared to pop, so I was almost SURE she had herpes pox also. I expected exponential pox growth within the next 24 hours, as I'd seen with Lola, but it didn't occur. Maybe it wasn't the pox? Halloween came, and she still just had that same little red spot.  It did re-blister, but she didn't have any new spots, so I wondered if she wasn't one of those lucky people who only got a handful of pox.  I obsessively checked her all Halloween day, still not seeing ANY new spots.

5:00-ish pm rolled around, and I began thinking about getting her dressed in her costume just in case trick-or-treaters dropped by early.  I stripped her down only to see 7-8 faint, red bumps which had appeared on her chest & arms.  I dropped a hefty F-bomb, yelled for my Mom, and showed her the damage. Scott & I had several people coming over, Cal had people coming over, last year we had around 200 trick-or-treaters, and I now had a "highly contagious" child in the house?  What now?!

I went ahead & got Claire dressed.  Scott, Cal & Cam (Cal's BFF) came home after basketball practice, Cal jumped in the shower to get ready, and I showed Scott all of Claire's spots. We decided to keep Claire-bug corralled in an area and just keep Cal & his friends away from her. Or maybe we'd shove their asses outside to trick-or-treat wayyyyy beyond the age they should to keep them away from the germies.  We were still debating our options when Cal came out of the shower shirtless & screams, "MOOOOOOOMMMMMM!  COME HERE NOW!!!!!!"

Yep, the boy had "the clap," too.

You have GOT to be f*cking kidding me.

Kill me nowwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, we called Cam's parents to come pick him up, cancelled with the girlfriend/friends, and Cal was put on lockdown. Claire & Lola still dressed up, as we couldn't NOT partake in the festivities. We kept them at a safe distance & didn't allow any trick-or-treaters to enter our disease-ridden confines. They were allowed to view the dwarves through our glass front door only. Quarantines always make for good times.
Wiggin' out with Scabby
Cal, pissed as hell, cancelling all his plans via text.
Cam, relying heavily on his Varicella vaccine, attempting to cheer Cal up, as a true wingman should.
Back in black, babyyyyy!

Romeo, in honor of Stearman Field (our badass, local airport/restaurant), workin' the airplane get-up...

I hate you.  All of you.  I am going to air-raid your entire bed with runny turds & vomit later.

I will dive-bomb you in your sleep and gnaw out your carotid artery Mach 5 if you don't get this smug asshole off my back, bungholes.

And now... for the moment you've been waiting for... the pièce de résistance...  

I present to you... Lobster Lola & Chef Claire!

Notice Romeo still pouting in the background.  Once we removed his propeller, his mood improved slowly.  He even raced in & out of the doggie door at full speed shortly thereafter, costume still mostly intact -- yet wings now bent to hell!  

Thanks to my girl, Amber Keeton, for the nifty lobster get-up!  It was PERFECT!
Sous Chef, Pre, awaiting orders...

Thanks to Joy at Noni's Closet for the INCREDIBLE, custom-made chef costume!!!
Be sure to click on the above link to check out her Etsy shop!

The Spotted Spiny Lobster (Panulirus Guttatus) is found mostly in Bermuda & Kansas, in case you didn't know.
(DAMN POX!!!)  

Scott's favorite picture... Mimi looks so rebellious stirrin' & boilin' her sister up!

My dearest apologies & sympathies to our beloved, incredible, amazing, like-family babysitter, Tracey, who (little did she know) would contract the chickenpox the very next day, thanks to the Hooligans' herpes.  WE.  SUCK.
We love you VERY MUCH, Trace, & we are SO grateful for ALL you do for us & the girls!!!  xoxo

I leave you with this... a viewer-friendly, censored-up, Instagram-filtered version of the Hooligan hoopla for the past 4-5 weeks (you're welcome for not showing "the worst of the worst"). Thank God for Cinemax HD (during daytime hours, you pervs!), oatmeal baths, Benadryl, our naturopath, chiropractor, & homeopathic doctor who gave us natural antivirals/immune boosters, and for technology in the form of my iPhone ~ which thanks to texting my BFF, discovering SongPop & reaching out to my peeps on Facebook for support, I was able to avoid checking into the nuthouse by now. Love you guys. SO MUCH.

Here's to a HEALTHFUL holiday season!!! 

"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials."  ~Chinese proverb


Saturday, November 03, 2012

Hooligans' Halloween History ~ Part 2

In living color, enjoy PART 2 of The History of The Hooligans' Halloweens ~ 2008-2011.  I warn you, things are gonna get really weird.  (And I may need TWO angry dragons... HA!  Please tell me you've all seen Starsky & Hutch... !)

Quite possibly my FAVORITE Halloween picture EVAHHHHHH.
Lola ~ Age 2.5 ~ Witchy woman!

My dear grandmother passed away on Halloween in 2008... I faked a smile, but I was so sad in this picture.
RIP Grams...  I miss you so much.  
BOK BOK!!!  Oh, and nice wig, Madam.

When Cal went trick-or-treating, he turned around, people would "shoot" candy into his pumpkin, & the goal would cheer!
We still have this "hat!" 

Did Sally Jesse Raphael get contact lenses?!

Meet our old school ESPN sports reporter in the field, Ron Burgundy... oops, I mean Cal Hartley!!!
Reporting live from Infinity Art Glass... (is that a clip-on?!)
"Go f*ck yourself, Benton!"
Claire ~ age 8 ~ unbeknownst to you, Mimi has like 4 burprags jammed into the hood of this costume acting as a "falsie."
Might have stuffed her bra, too.  LOL

Lolita  ~  age 3.5  ~  Is she even in costume?!  HA!


Slash just got done shredding guitar.  Surprised you didn't know he lived in Kansas now & is a spokesman for Sunkist. Yep yep!
Hello, ladies.
(PS -- We may have gone a teensy bit "balls out" on Halloween decor in the background up there.  Yikes!)
G's up, hos down.
You be illin'...
Arrrrrrrr, mateys!
"All yer booty arrrr belong ter us!"
Cannot take my eyes off my rack in this picture!
Must be some trick photography because they.  look.  FANTASTIC!  LOL

2011 ~ Click HERE for last year's complete Halloween blog/more pictures & scroll down for a sampling below!

Our motley crue
Cam & Cal ~ Partners in crime
The 7th grade gang!
The best damn jockeys in the world, weighing in at 10 & 20 lb. respectively!
Giddy up!
Lola's makin' Pongo her bitch.
Claire Hartley, Future Triple Crown winner!

Stay tuned for pictures from the 2012 Hartley Hooligans' Halloween Extravaganza!  

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