Thursday, February 02, 2012

Knotty Girls!


Jada Pinkett Smith is a badass.  Plain & simple.  She flat-out SCARES ME, if I am being perfectly honest.  I know she's under a buck in weight & 5 ft. tall in height or some shit, but I'm 100% sure she could kick ANYONE'S ass if given the chance.  And this chick can rock Bantu knots with the best of 'em.

Jada, along with my new obsession/time-killer/love Pinterest (you can follow me here!), encouraged me to try some Bantu knots on my extremely straight-haired daughters.  After all, I wanted them to have gorgeous, spiral-y, heat-free curls the next day like this girl, yo...
Click here to learn how to create-your-own Bantu knots!  (or not... read on...)
I started my experiment on Claire since her hair is more cooperative, she has more of it, and she's down with changing her hair often (just like her Mama!).  I read & re-read the directions carefully, a bit unsure how to secure the knots, but I figured it out, and before long, my Mimi was sportin' knots like nobody's business!
Damn microcephaly only allows me to fit FOUR knots on her tiny melon, but girlfriend ROCKED them!
For 24 whole hours.
I *LOVE* your smile, Buggy Boo!
What transpired 24 hours later still remains a bit of a mystery to me.  I did it all CORRECT.  I am SURE OF IT.  I put the knots in wet, I spritzed with a little light gel/product, I secured them as well as I could, they LOOKED adorable (!), and I untwisted them just as described on the website.  I could HARDLY WAIT to see the spiral curls & see if they really did last for days & this whole process was so EASY & CUTE & it was gonna be my new go-to hair-do for Claire especially, and OMG!  Bantu knots ROCK!!!!!  My girl was gonna be precious with her curls!!!!!! 
F'in A. 

I have the sudden urge to either sing "A-B-C, easy as 1-2-3" or paint some "happy little trees."
I gave my girl a 'fro.
I immediately have flashbacks about the time in Kindergarten when I had long, sandy blonde hair similar in color to Claire's.  I remember my Mom had the same dream for my class picture day -- curls!  Although I'd never done so before, I slept overnight on those squishy pink rollers, and I could hardly wait to wake up & see my beautiful long curls!  Imagine my own horror when THIS is how my hair ended up...
"Hello, is it ME you're looking for?!?!?"
Can you find me?
Front row, 3rd from the left, purple dress, possibly smile-crying.
Complete with straight bangs & a cowlick to boot.  OMFG.
Get a load of this action up close.  That's so hott!!! (I've been reading wayyyy too many middle school texts!)
I do find it ironic though that I have my thumbs tucked into my fists.
Our girls do that ALL THE DAMN TIME (due to their high muscle tone/cerebral palsy/brain condition). Clearly only cool people do that.  And wear Elizabethan-style, white collared, poofy-shouldered, empire waisted, floral dresses.  Fan-friggin'-tastic.  Poor 5-year old me.

So yeah, I basically pink-rollered my daughter.

Now, how to fix it?  OK -- if I tame it down a bit, it will still look cute & curly.  Maybe some clips?
Aaahhhh.  MUCH better.  Channeling her inner-Diana.
Rear view -- HA!  A bit out of control, but I think it'll "fall" as the day goes on... yeah, that's it.  SURELY it'll fall.
Workin' the 1970 Instagram filter, yo.  Seemed fitting.
Day 2:  Attempt to work with what she's got.  Yes, I could give her a bath & be back to square 1, but where's the fun in that?  I'm goin' for 4 puffs, in the original knot sections.  It's gonna be SO cute.
Ummm, fail?  Got more of a Bozo the Clown feel, dammit.
Upon seeing the sheer size of Claire's 'do, Scott comments, "You know who you REALLY should do the knots on?  POCKET!"  So... I gave 'er a go...

Lola's noggin
Shrek baby?!
I found this picture both endearing & touching at the same time... love the knots, but WOW do they ever accentuate how teeny tiny Lola's head truly is.  Kind of an eye-opening moment for me.  Not to mention the skin wrinkling up on her skull due to her head/brain not growing properly.  (sigh)
While Lola's knots "cured" for 24 hours, we had some fun with Claire's mane.
She's an angry elf.  Wait, is that Carrot Top?!

I tried combing it out, as I'd not done that since I untwisted it that first day.  Ummm, poor choice...

Even Romeo had to look away... he thought he saw Phil Spector!
WTF???  Richard Simmons would be proud... but he'd definitely recommend some sequined shorts.
Ready to ease on down, ease on down the rooooooad!  Sooooo proud of herself & her big hair!!!
I was ever-hopeful that Lola's hair would turn out differently than Claire's had...  alas, it did not.
BOOM!
She put her lip out -- she's gonna cry!!! (<-- see video link for an example) 
I would too!
This look feels very "Will Ferrell in Zoolander"... no?

This hairdo makes her want to GOT IT & GOPPLE!!!!
Slightly tamed...
Side profile.  I LOVE staring-off-into-the-distance shots.
It's ON, jackwipe.

I blame Pinterest.

xo

9 comments:

The Every Day Extraordinary said...

OH my gosh!!! Hilarious--I wonder what happened--I can barely braid so I give you an A plus for effort!! The girls are still adorable no matter what--Lene will love that they were going for the curly look--because, well, you know--she wants her curls, straight. Sigh, never satisfied, are we? Lol! happy weekend!

Anonymous said...

I totally tried this the other night too. Exact same thing happened to me. I headed straight for the shower upon on doing my hair. Everything on pinterest looks so easy, and I manage to screw it up.

Kelly said...

I seriously just laughed out loud. thank you. I ADORE your girls (and you!) they can ROCK any style the want ;)

Juli said...

Oh my girl! I just about peed myself reading your craziness! You and your girls rock a style all your own, and I think we all love you even more for it! You are all beautiful inside and out!

P.S. I hadn't seen that photo in years! Thank you for picking the only class pic ever taken of me that my mother didn't do something just as awful to me too! ;)

Jenny said...

Oh my good.ness. That is hilarious. I'm still laughing, hysterically! I do sponge curlers on Sammy, but this...if I can get the same look that you did, I just may have to try it. This seriously is totally cracking me up! ahhh. This is the best part of my entire week! hahaha

Anonymous said...

I was laughing so hard, this is so something I would do! And I wouldn't have given up and washed it either, after all of that time and effort! They are beautiful, 'fros and all! :)

Anonymous said...

I found your blog yesterday and have been addicted to reading it sense. Just came across this gem of an entry while eating my cream of wheat. I am now cleaning it off the screen and keyboard. You and yours are amazingly strong peeps! Keep up the great job!

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, your girls are good sports and you're a nut! I love it! They're ADORABLE!

In the summer I wish I could go incognito everywhere since my silky smooth hair the second I walk out into the hot, humid southern heat and forget rain, goes poof, frizzy as all get-out and grows bigger every which way right in front of people's eyes, its a talent of sorts. I'm gonna rock the frizz now after seeing how well your girls rock the look. :~)

Anonymous said...

I just started following your blog yesterday and have been reading at work as much as possible. OMG I laughed so hard when I saw the picture of Claire!

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