Monday, March 12, 2012

The Mini Monopoly Match-up for the Masses ~ Part 2

Welcome back, ladies & gentlemen!  We are rejoining our holy Monopoly showdown in action.  As you'll remember, we have long-standing rivals, Fighting Nun and Lola Hartley, squaring off for the Monopoly World Dwarf Championship.  Lots at stake here, folks. 

As we left our petite participants, Lola Hartley had surged to an early lead, racking up not only lucrative properties but also big bucks in the process.  Nun was struggling to make ends meet while retaining an eerie-bordering-on-batshit-crazy, smile-plastered exterior.  It was quite the ride, and I personally cannot wait to see how this intense game progresses.

(Click here to view Part 1 of the clash of these two tiny titans.)
Play resumes in this blessed barnburner...
Lola is still sportin' her lucky poker gear & purposely leaving her c-notes boisterously covering the board just to spite & intimidate her itty-bitty enemy.  Will her strategy work to ensure the win?

Oh dear... Mrs. Pocket's fateful roll of 11 landed her on Chance & THIS winner-of-a-card:  GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL.  She appears unfazed... 

Nun gets in some feisty air jabs to taunt her wee opponent & celebrate her miraculous (possible) turnaround. 

This act is not well-received by Ms. Hartley... she arches in complete disbelief & horror, possibly sharting in the process.
(She must get this from her mother!  HA!)

With that, she launches an F-bomb as well as the GO TO JAIL card in the air to show her disgust and shame at her pathetic dice-shaking.  If nothing else, at least she still has that $500 cleverly stashed in her sleeve for the necessities while in jail.  You know, smokes, free tats & possibly a shank, if needed.

In one fell swoop, Nun has landed on the most notable of ALL squares on the board... oh yes.  We all know that would be BOARDWALK.  Nun lays down the loot for this game-changing property purchase and finds time to...

...grandstand a teensy bit in sheer glorification of her accomplishments (as we all know there is nothing more pure and saintly than a good fist-pump in combo with the ever-classy pelvic thrust).

And with no thought whatsoever, Nun takes it a few steps further... this time offering a joking temple-blow to Hartley, who is completely unsuspecting.

... AND a gentle right hook to the kisser...

...AND a "haymaker" to the right glasses lens/eye...

... AND a double-barrelled, sinful attack before Ms. Hartley even knew what hit her.  Thank the heavens for still shots, as the previous few scenes occurred in less than 1.74 seconds.  That Nun is crafty and fierce, yo.

Seeing her foe react (above) with fear to her hasty attack, she goes in for a merciful make-up hug.

Mid-hug, Nun's competitive side takes over, & she attempts to choke Lola out.  Remembering her vows, she backs away slowly, gives Lola the dice, and interjects a taunting threat: "I'm 'bout to END THIS."

And with the next roll, the whole course of the game changed.  Lola landed on Boardwalk, which now boasted a hotel.  She removed her hat, gathered up her money, and she raised her glasses in disbelief at what had just transpired.  She would DEFINITELY need divine intervention to salvage this misfortune.  And the only divine intervention that would likely occur would probably be in favor of the chick wearin' the habit.

Damn you, Boardwalk.


At this very moment, Nun laid down a move only seen in rare circles.  It is a trademark move for some, though it's seldom seen.  It can only be described as powerful, convincing, & almost a spiritual experience, as once this has been done to you, you are never the same.  She crossed her arms & BOOOOOOMED! her antagonist with everything in her soul.

Nun greedily grabbed for the dough, Lola resisting with 9, possibly 10 pounds of intense force (and some downright f'ing strong Spastic Quad Cerebral Palsy) enveloping her winnings.  Good luck, Nun.

The struggle continues... Lola sheepishly grins at the situation, the Nun's outbursts, and the silliness of the entire ordeal.  After all, it's just a game, Focker, RIGHT?!


Adding in her trademark suckerpunch, Nun attempts to daze Lola with this tactic, while snatching away what's hers.

Left hook... bob & weave... more money struggles... 

Step off my paper, b*tch.

"Your ass is MIIIIIIIINE," said the Nun.

What will become of our pocket-sized player?  Will she be able to rally back from her Boardwalk fiasco with just $2 to her name?  Or will Nun remain Dwarf Champion of the World? 

Find out Wednesday in the finale of this epic battle.

(NOTE:  Try not to lose too much sleep over the conclusion of this righteous bout... but suffice it to say, the best is yet to come!!!)


Part 3 can be viewed by clicking HERE...

1 comment:

Brianna Snodgrass said...

Gwen, this was hilarious. Have to share this!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...