The Mini Monopoly Match-up for the Masses

On behalf of Parker Brothers & Hasbro, I'd like to welcome you to the Monopoly World Dwarf Championships!  41 dwarves competed for the title of Monopoly World Dwarf Champion, a cash prize of $20,580 (which is the total amount of Monopoly money in the current Monopoly set), and of course, BRAGGING RIGHTS amongst fellow shorties. 

It is interesting that we have a sort of "rematch" at stake here.  As you all may remember, Fighting Nun squared off with Lola Hartley on March 6, 2011 on what went down as one of the top dwarf boxing matches in history.  "The Sprite Fight" title was claimed by none other than Nun, though Lola hopes her devoted training, tips from previous World Champion Monopoly players, and sheer willpower will have her coming out on top this go-around.  Let's meet our contenders... 

Once again, battling for The Benedictines of Mary, Queen of the Apostles out of Kansas City, Missouri...
FIGHTING "SECOND TO" NUN!
Pre-game testament:  "I try to make it a HABIT to win.  I've taken my own personal solemn vow to not only take my opponent down, but to also shower her with divine blessings.  Can I get a witness!?"

Out of Benton, Kansas, sportin' rose-colored glasses and a professional poker visor and wearing her surprising pawn of choice -- the tiny thimble, attempting to overturn the Ultra-Extreme Lightweight Boxing Champion of the World...
LOLA "MRS. POCKET" HARTLEY!
Pre-game revelation: "I may not have the Vatican on my side, but I confess... I will send Sister back to Kansas City quicker than you can say 'Blessed Pope John Paul II.'  Mark my sacred words."

It is definitely shaping up to be one hell of, errr... ummm... heavenly showdown.

Opponents square off silently pre-game, each hoping their stares-of-doom bewilder the other.

Rattle 'dem bones!

Not a surprise... Lola won $10 in a Beauty Contest.  She's makin' her move slowly but surely.

Not a virgin at gambling, Nun tries her hand fist luck at shakin' the die...

Once again, Lola is victorious on her roll, earning $50 from the bank.  Shake & bake!

Ouch... Nun's roll of 6 lands her on the dismal Vermont Avenue, one of the least financially productive squares on the board.  Things are looking shaky for our former holy pugilist champion/"old battleship." (Her pawn, not Nun herself!)

What do we have HERE?  Yet another financial gain for our tiny business woman.  She appears very in-control, down-to-business, and ready to lay the smack down on her archangel nemesis.

Nun is growing increasingly discouraged by Lola's stroke of luck and her own economic sins and fiscal failures.  She furiously attempts to disintegrate the unsuspecting thimble with one massive blow.  She's definitely going to need to say a "Hail Mary" or seven after this outburst.

Call me "Dolla," bitches.

Mrs. Pocket has thrown down 3 hotels on her beloved green Monopoly!  She grins evilly and clutches her prime real estate to her chest as she realizes that her triumph is actually in-progress.  Ahhhh yes.  Sittin' pretty indeed.

Showin' off her other property, Mediterranean Avenue, Nun seems clueless that she not only has just two, incredibly weak properties, but she also has mostly folded-up singles in her cash pile.  How did Nun make it to the Championship with this questionable strategy in play?  And why is she still smiling?  God only knows.

Lola may have gotten a wee bit carried away with her showboating mid-game.  She cannot help it.  She wears her heart (and green -- oh wait, guess in this case it would be her "orange") on her sleeve.  She is an open book.  And she is DEFINITELY in it to win it this go-around.  No more Mrs. Nice Dwarf.  Makin' it rain, babyyyyy!

What will become of this showdown?  Will Lola remain victorious?  Will Nun's unorthodox tactics allow her to stage a heavenly come-from-behind run for the offering plate?

Find out on Monday in Part 2...

(NOTE:  No dwarves or religious women were harmed in the filming of this blessed board game.)

xo

Part 2 can be viewed by clicking HERE...